Blog Post 23
The following night I returned to the topic of the Secret Space Program (SSP) and recapped a few questions I had already asked. It was encouraging to get the same answers. I had spent much of the previous day turning the conversation over in my head. The answers had been so unexpected that I wanted to establish whether I had understood them correctly. I did this regularly to confirm some of the answers that I may have gotten wrong or misremembered.
So, I started with the obvious question.
Is the 20 and Back program, or something similar to it, real? - Yes.
And it was common. It happened often. Different programs but essentially the same concept. Okay. I wonder how many people out there in the world have previous experience and don’t realise it? I went on to ask some more of the previous questions and got the same answers (see Posts 21 and 22 for details!) which I decided to build on with even more questions.
I felt like this was all leading somewhere and I was hesitant to ask, but I did and it felt strange to even consider.
Was I involved in a 20 and Back program?
The answer appeared to be definitive. - Yes.
Holy shit! Well, that was a bombshell. Were they sure? I asked a few more times and it was the same but there was more data.
Okay, now what? Umm... I wonder what kind of program it was? Was I on the ships? Was I a soldier? Engineer? What?
I needed some details.
Was it during this lifetime? - No.
Was I human? - Yes.
Was serving aboard the ships my primary role? - No.
Was I primarily surface infantry? - Yes.
That answer surprised me. Actually, they all surprised me, but this one in particular. If what I was being told was accurate, then whatever experiences I had were taking place on the ground rather than aboard spacecraft. But where? Ground on what planet?
Did I train on Earth? – No.
Did I train on the Moon? – Yes.
Mars? – Yes.
Did I volunteer? – Yes.
Then I asked something more personal.
Did any of those present know me during that period?
The response appeared to be yes.
Perhaps that was a no brainer, given the level of attention now. Several flashes accompanied the answer and at this point something unexpected happened. I found the conversation becoming more emotional.
Yes, we had discussed Mars and the secret programs with strange technology. Sure, all that was mind-bending stuff. But now the discussion had suddenly become about people.
I began wondering whether there might have been individuals I once knew, worked with, relied upon, laughed with, fought beside, or perhaps even lost. If such experiences had occurred, then all memory of them had been removed so completely that not even a slight echo remained.
The answer remained the same.
Yes.
I then asked about a particular ship. Over the years one craft had approached notably closer than the others. On a few occasions it had flown low directly overhead. It had even illuminated me with what felt very intentional, much like a spotlight.
At the time, I had always felt that whoever was aboard knew me. So, my question was simple.
Did they know me?
The answer again appeared to be yes. The following night I asked the same question and it wasn’t as clear. It was yes but not quite, not as clear as that. It wasn’t cut and dried. I believe they knew of me but not as a close acquaintance who worked closely with them. Perhaps they felt they needed to clear up that point.
Were at least some of the occupants of that ship human? - Yes.
Over the following nights the questions continued.
Had I operated on other worlds within the solar system? - Yes.
Had I travelled beyond the solar system? - Yes.
Did I enjoy the experience? - No.
I repeated the question several times with the same answer. I guess that is to be expected. I asked more and some of the questions were overlapping in an effort to confirm previous answers.
Did I train on board the ships? - Yes.
Was I law enforcement? - No.
Was I military? - Yes.
Did I retain my memories after completion of service? - No.
Had I died during that service? - Yes.
Was my consciousness transferred into another cloned body? – Yes, kind of.
Can my memories be restored? – Yes.
Okay, how? It has to be two memory wipes, right? One on completion of service and one upon death? - No.
That was clear and I wondered what I had got wrong. Maybe I had died more than once. Maybe the memory isn’t wiped when you are transferred into a clone. I’ll try to find out.
Was I patched up on something like a med bed? – Yes.
As always, these answers raise more questions than they resolve.
It was the possibility of connection with people currently flying about up there that I found particularly fascinating. The chance that there may be people who knew me and who I knew in return. Who I once knew well.
Friends. Colleagues. Perhaps even family.
We are talking about relationships, but those memories are now gone so completely that I cannot access them. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
I cannot recall a single face, a single conversation, or a single shared experience. Yet the responses indicated those connections once existed.
Were they hidden for security, protection, or some other reason? I don't know.
What I do know is that the questions are becoming less about spacecraft, distant worlds, and secret programs, and more about memory itself.
How much of who we are is contained within our memories? If we don’t remember it, does it still affect us? Does it change us? We tend to assume that our memories define us. They tell us who we are, where we have been, and how we became the people we are today.
And if memories can be hidden, forgotten, or removed, what else might still be waiting somewhere beyond conscious recall?
